Perfectionism is a trait most people would consider a good thing. I, however, do not.
I can push aside bad tapes (bad thoughts that cycle through my head over and over and over) most of the time. However, through in lots of stress and deadlines and I lose control. The bad tapes are nearly impossible to stop and they are terrible.
My perfectionism can spiral out of control really quickly. I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember.
I have been afraid to do things because I don't think I will succeed.
I have not completed assignments out of fear of not doing them correctly.
I have set beyond lofty goals that when not met, I basically self-destruct.
I have mistaken events out of my control as consequences of my own personal failure.
In the deepest part of my mind, I know that it is not rational.
But those tapes won't turn off. I may not be able to turn them off completely, but I've learned some ways to muffle the volume of them.
I can take myself out of the room with the stereo playing the bad tapes and go next door. I can hear them, but they're not quite as clear or loud.
Three songs are getting me through studying for finals and blocking out the bad tapes right now:
"Who Says" – Selena Gomez
Who says Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me Who says you don't pass the test
"Perfect" – Pink
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
"Firework" – Katy Perry
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you
AND REPEAT :)
good luck to everyone on final exams!!!
xoxo
xoxo
Good luck on your exams! I can so relate to your perfectionist personality.
ReplyDeleteI completely know what you mean! I think a lot of people struggle with it, particularly when it comes to work- it can be hard to bounce back from something when your best is not perfect. But what is perfect anyway?
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Becca x
honestlybec.blogspot.com
I know exactly how you feel! Hang in there though!
ReplyDeleteThose songs are perfect choices. Have a listen to this song, you might like it :) It's called It's Only Life by Kate Voegele.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Pl9iJsPjI
when I was in college, I was part of a group of girls who read the book "Perfecting Ourselves to Death" by Richard Winters. as a self-diagnosed perfectionist, I really learned a lot about letting go of control by reading it and it was a really great thing to talk with people who struggled with the same thing I did. :) best of luck to you with finals!
ReplyDeleteDude! I LOVE that SELENA song! I've been jamming to it for like a month! Great post!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you on exams! Thank goodness I have none :)
ReplyDeleteI really like "Who Says"! I was surprised when I found out it was Selena Gomez, she has a great voice! Good luck getting through finals!! I am an extreme perfectionist and I made it through college and you can too!
ReplyDeleteOh, hon. Speaking as another person with a whoppin' case of the crazies (seriously, I had the same problems you did when I was in college, except I don't think I handled it with nearly as much aplomb and grace as you), big hugs. And good on you for drowning them out! Good luck with finals - it's almost time for summer!
ReplyDeleteThose are all great "pick me up" songs. I have been obsessed with "Who Says" recently too! Great song choices.
ReplyDelete-Emmy
www.sprinklesoneverything.wordpress.com
I can 100% relate to you on this! Perfectionism is definitely something that is great and destructive at the same time. It's all about learning how to control it. Good luck with exams!
ReplyDeleteI deeply empathize with this; rooting for you, girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm a perfectionist too! My problem with it though is I just am overly hard on myself when things don't go as I had hoped! Good luck, we can make it!
ReplyDeletegood luck girl! i'm a perfectionist too, and i hate it. there's nothing that i can do. that's just how my environment shaped me to survive (at least with me). i also want to do the best and get down on myself with i don't met the set expectations.
ReplyDeleteI'm a perfectionist that gets frustrated easily--worst trait combo ever! I've kind of gotten better at prioritizing over the years, though. Good playlist!
ReplyDeleteI hear you 100%! I have also struggled with being a perfectionist most of my life. The self-criticism really wears on me, and instead of obtaining the level of perfection in my life I desire, my morale tumbles. Recently I've tried being a perfect imperfectionist, meaning I strive to do the best that I can, but if I don't succeed, it's perfectly fine. I constantly remind myself that everybody makes mistakes, even if I'm not there to witness them.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with finals! And if you find yourself feeling down, just strive for perfect imperfection :)
Thank you, for writing exactly what I needed to hear tonight =)
ReplyDeleteGood luck on finals!
I can definitely agree with you on this- especially the part about not doing things because of what you THINK might happen, and about stressing on assignments because you think you won't do them perfectly.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite songs to calm me down when the "bad tapes" are getting to be too much is "Little Moments" by Brad Paisley, especially the line "I know she's not perfect, but she tries so hard for me, and I thank God that she isn't, because how boring would that be?"
When the bad thoughts get us down, we need to remember that, in life and in love, giving your all is important, but that the imperfections are what makes us special, and that those who truly love you will accept you for them.
thank you for posting these songs. i listened to "who says" and it instantly boosted my self-confidence! i wish you all the best for your exams.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that you've put into words what I struggle with as well. I've been dealing with my crazy obsession with control and perfection for a long time, and I've never really been able to voice my problem with it, and through reading this post I kept yelling 'yes!' so thank you and good luck on your finals!
ReplyDeletejenn.
Love the Selena song!
ReplyDelete