So I've obviously put off this post for the end of the month. (Remember when I promised to talk about LOVE during the month of February?) I'm frankly super hesitant to put this up at all. As a rule, I don't like talking about religion, politics, and relationships. The no-relationships-on-the-blog is for a slew of reasons. But mainly because a) I like to have a private life and b) I would have no idea how to pen the details of my "dating life." Plus, I've been involved with guys who really have no interest in being included on here, or in tweets, or in Instagrams. At all. And I respect that!
I kept meaning to draft a post this month. I mean, I really did want to just get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. (I did do a cop-out post about loving yourself here.) Of course, after months and months of the same routine, the same cast of characters, and a feeling of at least normalcy.... everything got flipped on its head.
I ended something with someone I actually cared about... a lot. Someone I thought was out of my life for, like, ever appeared... again (literally) uninvited. I had a phone number blocked through Verizon. I got too nervous to get drinks with (do people even "date" anymore?!) someone. I saw someone from college who I hadn't seen in a long time. And I crossed a weird, unwritten line with a friend. And absolutely zero things worked out. Seriously, I jinxed myself or something. February was ridiculous.
Please forgive me for not being able to include a ton of details, but I guess what happened in the past three and half weeks are pretty typical of the NYC dating scene. Or maybe it's just pretty typical of dating in your 20s in general? It's so much fun... and so much not-fun.
It's a tough balance between protecting yourself and letting yourself be vulnerable and open to new possibilities. Plus, it's an even harder balance to deal with all this emotional baggage during free time with work. I feel like there's all this pressure right now on women to define what work-life balance looks for them, but most of the conversations rally around children and husbands and careers. But what about early twenty-somethings navigating dating scenes that glorify the "hookup culture" and establishing ourselves in new cities and laying the groundwork for our careers. It's a lot.
However, I think what's most important while all this craziness is going on is to remember who's really always there for you. It's my close friends who are there to decode text messages, dish the details over Sunday brunches, and help sort through the broken pieces when the house of cards comes tumbling down.
Does anyone else feel the same way about relationships in your 20s?
PS Want me to give a little bit more detail without giving details? (Cryptic, I know...) This song hits way too close to home for me.