Personal

On Getting Personal

Can we get real about being personal today? I don’t think that sentence makes sense, but I’m not sure how else to say it.

The other day, I was getting so frustrated with Instagram. It started with me checking my battery usage on my phone and realizing that I spent far too much time on the app. (I’m not sure that I’d feel comfortable with my daily time as my weekly time… it was that bad.) I used to find the app so inspiring, but lately, it’s been so blah. So much of the same over and over again. And I’m just as guilty!!!

I was on Tumblr a few hours later and saw a post from an account I follow that was brutally honest about something she was experiencing. I spent a few minutes reading, and it was, well, so refreshing. It was refreshing to read something from a stranger that just spoke to me. I understood her, and that made me feel understood as well.

The two experiences in such a short period made me want to reevaluate what I’m doing on here. But I ran straight into fear. Ugh!

It was a lot easier to share personal things when no one read here! It’s challenging to know my family is reading. How will what I say affect them? It’s uncomfortable to know that my family’s friends are reading. How will that make my family feel? It’s difficult to know that my friends are reading. Will they be offended by a post shared publicly? It’s weird to meet a stranger who already knows me. Will their expectation of me match reality?

I fear all these things and more that’s harder to put into words. Some of the fear I have is how I feel about it– mostly about being judged because, hey, I’m human. And a lot of the fear is how it relates to other people in my life. The bottom line is that it’s complicated!

If I could, I would love to sit down and discuss everything with each of you over a cup of coffee. The thought of having a permanent public record of what I was going through at a particular moment is terrifying.

Now I’m just rambling, but it’s just something that’s been on my mind lately. I want to get more personal. To scrub some of the polish off and get down to the nitty-gritty. Even though it’s a hurdle for me to get over, I do want to clear it. I think it can be helpful just to be honest about things I’m going through and experiencing and figuring out and failing at. Isn’t that one of the best things I can do for a reader going through something similar? Even if it’s just offering a “you’re not alone” and a virtual hug.

I hope you’ll bear with me as I navigate how to do this in a non-vague way that I feel comfortable with and, probably most importantly, the (real) people in my life feel about it.

***

As I’m re-reading this, I don’t think I actually said anything personal. Which is a giant pet peeve of mine when bloggers announce they’re ~getting personal~ in a post. So here we go:

I’ve been getting so many of this one particular kind of well-meaning comments from friends and followers. Sometimes it’s in person, and other times it’s an actual comment on a post. It’ll be something along the lines of “you look so happy!” Technically, I feel like it’s literally my job to put up smiley Instagrams and I prefer to keep things upbeat across my social. (Who wants to follow someone who’s constantly complaining?!) Those comments have been weighing so heavily on me though because it focuses on how I look. How I appear in a photo that was snapped in a split second.

I’m not saying that I’m unhappy. I’d say that I am, generally, pretty happy! But I have bad days and worse nights still. Dealing with anxiety is a daily struggle for me, and there are times when it’s so unbearable that getting back into bed is the only thing I can do. So while I may look happy in a photo, it’s not a perfect representation of what’s happening. It’s not inaccurate either. It’s just not the full picture.

It’s actually been a pretty good reminder for me to not assume that someone’s happy looking Instagram grid means that they aren’t fighting their own battle off the screen.

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82 Comments

Colleen Ray

I have been reading your blog since 7th grade and now as a freshman in college, your words have never rung truer! This post reminds me of a favorite quote of mine- although every day might not be a good day, there is good in every day. It’s necessary to realize the things that aren’t so good, but it is even more important to celebrate those little good moments! Thank you for inspiring me and for sharing with all of us! XOXOXOXO

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Shannon

The last line is absolutely perfect. I’ve had a few hard hits the last few weeks and it is always good to remember that you are not alone and others may be experiencing them too, even if you can’t see it through their pictures and posts on social media. Thank you for the great post.

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Jane

I also have experience with anxiety and some days are pretty difficult. As a regular reader you have mentioned that you’re exercising more regularly. Does this help with lowering your anxiety? Thinking about joining a gym.

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Ashley

Wow, I really am inspired by your words. I struggle with these similar thoughts as well, if I post something that I am going through thinking if people will judge me. But the truth is, as writers and communicators, we are called to make people feel not alone in their battles. I think we have to continually find a humble place where we are honest and real about what’s going on in our lives. I am going to focus on doing the same in my blog for sure. Even though we might feel like we are embarrassing ourselves, we could be helping so many people with our words. Thanks for sharing and being real! It does not go unnoticed.
Much love, Ashley | http://www.dearash.com

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Sofia

I’m super glad you shared this, Carly. Getting personal truly takes a lot of courage, especially when it’s online and “permanent”. I’m also glad that you opened up about your anxiety. As someone who struggles with anxiety (a panic disorder, more specifically), I felt relief (is that the right word?) reading this because it’s further proof that whatever is going on in your life, you’re not alone. There will always be at least one “me, too” in this crowd and I find it comforting. Anyway, thank you again for sharing this!

xo, Sofia
http://www.thecozie.co

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Michael @ Mile in my Glasses

I completely get where you’re coming from. It can be so easy to assume that somebody is happy, or that their life is completely peachy, off a smiling feed or bright posts! Social media can be such a double ended sword because I feel like we can post things that in the moment represent how we’re feeling / what we’re doing, but as time goes on all those posts can build up to reflect someone that’s not really us anymore.. Does that make sense!?

I hope you’re doing okay and have a wonderful Thursday!
Michael
https://www.mileinmyglasses.co.uk

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Kristina

Love your post, Carly. You are actually one of the only blogs I am still following because you seem authentic and your blog is more than just a new dress, a new handbag (aka blatant materialism) every day. This is why I have been getting sick of Instagram and bloggers. It’s the same every single day. Do not care if your lipstick or new dress was under $100, I do not need it, get a hobby. Sorry for the rant but it is how I feel.

You present quality fashion pieces but along with that your blog presents lifestyle and life advice subjects, fitness, etc. and I hope that is the direction you will keep going. xx a long-time reader

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M

This is so true. I’m sick of the bright colors and tans and smiles. That’s not how most lives are, so I’m not really sure why it’s comforting to see that all of these people have designer wardrobes and awesome houses.

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Liz

Thank you for sharing this Carly. It’s hard to see people on social media who always seem to have the perfect life and not think to yourself why isn’t my life like that? In reality, we’re all just people who have flaws that we hide from the online world.

Thanks for keeping it real!

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Carolyn

So nice to read this! I appreciate the “real life “perspective. You are a great role model for younger girls. By sharing the good days and the not so easy days, it truly helps all those girls that look up to you. They are going through the exact same thing. Please continue to be you!!!

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Tarobin

Your blog is a delight to read. I am sure this post was soo hard to write and hit send to the world! Thanks for sharing! Please make sure you are taking care of all of you. Self-care is key..so is meditation. It is perfectly fine to say when you are not ok. All the best to you!

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Meg H.

Carly, I absolutely love reading your blog and come back day after day because of your sincerity. With social media, the comparison game is so strong and to the every day gal it’s hard to see all of these “perfect” and “rich” lives sometimes. By rich, I do not 100% mean monetarily.. I’m also talking about lives that seem to be full of overwhelming fulfillment. It’s so refreshing to feel and understand your heart – the good, bad, and ugly. Thanks for this! Keep your chin up, pretty girl!

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Evana Sequeira

Unfortunately, you’re right. I myself, love social media, especially Instagram but it is a lot of the same thing. And it’s sad how much our lives depend on it.

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Taylor

This post is so refreshing. I think it is so wonderful that you want to be open and honest with your readers. It is so easy to assume that people are living wonderful and glamorous lives via social media, we can all put up the front (guilty), but everyone has a different story and I am so thankful that you are honest about yours. Thank you so much for sharing!

Taylor | http://www.livingtaylored.com

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Hugh

Great Post Carly ! Just remember – Always be yourself ! Trust in who you are and in what you believe in ! It’s ok to sometimes second guess yourself but hold on to your beliefs.

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Dana Mannarino

Totally all about reading another girl’s personal posts. Today I published a super personal article about struggling with body confidence. I appreciate you taking the time to realize you WANT to be more personal on your blog – it takes a lot of guts to open up!

Pink Champagne Problems

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Cristina - Memories of the Pacific

Thanks for sharing this, Carly! One of the things I don’t like about social media is that it sometimes makes me feel bad when I see the everyone’s life is so “perfect” and mine isn’t. As you say, nobody likes to see unhappy images or someone complaining all the time. But happy pictures all around the world sometimes make us have unrealistic expectations about life. I don’t know if there’s a solution for this but at least we should have always in mind that we all have good and bad days and that no-ones life is perfect.

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Paula

I very rarely post, but really wanted to today. I mainly just peruse the blogs in the morning, but your blog is different. I see a lot of growth and I love to see you take on challenges, i.e. doing impulsive things, anxiety etc.. These are the same things I tackle day to day. I know people can be unbelievably mean and judgmental on social media. I think its awesome you’re keeping things real. I loathe how artificial social media can appear. Everyone’s lives are not perfect, we all struggle and have issues. I think its important for women (especially young women) to not think life is la-dee-da all the time. So I’m really glad you are willing to be vulnerable and keep things honest. I really respect that!

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Hannah @ AndThenWeTried

THIS. It can be so hard to remember that for every smiley, beautiful shot someone posts on Insta, there are 30 outtakes that, while not as perfect, are definitely real life. Striking that balance is tough, but your transparency is inspiring.

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Rachel

The “personal” stuff is always my favorite to read! Thanks for sharing your life with us.

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Alexandra

I really do hope you get more personal going forward! I agree that lately instagram especially, has become so much of the SAME. Bloggers are wearing the SAME outfits and linking the same products and putting up the same posed pictures. It gets exhausting and boring! Good luck overcoming your fears – I think your readers will appreciate it!

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Becky

I’m looking forward to seeing how you balance getting more personal in your blog! I know that reading blogs and following someone’s social media is basically looking at their highlight reel, nobody *really* posts the bumps and bruises, for fear of tarnishing their carefully curated “persona.” But I enjoy the realness that some bloggers employ, and it definitely makes them more feel more relatable, on a day to day basis, rather than aspirational.
Speaking of aspirational, though, I am moving to a new apartment over Memorial Day weekend, and am taking some serious inspiration from your apartment posts! I’ll probably get the same kitchen rug, so thank you for sharing your sources! My place near the lake is going to be so cute =)

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Catherine

Thanks for sharing this, Carly! This is also something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Before I started blogging, I thought, “how do bloggers always have so many gorgeous photos to post?” But now, I’ve realized that coming up with pretty pictures is actually the easy part. The hardest part is how to be real and connect with people on a deeper level in a way you’re comfortable with in a public forum. I do think people are hungry for truth and genuine content in our pretty-picture culture, though! I can’t wait to read more!
xoxo,
Classic Catherine

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Kayla Michelle

This is what I feel is missing in a lot of blogs that is something I find people on YouTube do REALLY well. People have no problem with sponsored posts and putting on a smile for outfit posts but when it comes to how they are tackling life they shy away in fear of full disclosure. (Which is no problem! IT IS YOUR LIVING!! And there is zero shame in the hustle!) I’m sure you want to connect with your online community but it takes A LOT of bravery to be real and share life with your readers but I respect you 100 times more for being honest and personal and people will support you and love you through that because they will relate to you as a human!! Readers want to know your heart and if they’re just here for your tastes (which are exquisite!) they are missing something amazing I know you have to offer!!! Be different because you don’t fit the mould Carly with or without these personal posts!! I think you will really like the results not only for the growth of your business but for your heart as well!

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Aislinn Santoyo

Way to go Carly!! All in due time, but thank you for opening up. The fact you shared how you feel with anxiety is inspiring because as as young woman i feel at times guilty for not being able to process a day, when all you can do is stay in bed and let the emotions come. Can’t wait to see more posts on the nitty-gritty hahaha it makes you way more relatable.

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Phoebe Wright

Hi Carly,
I met you at the Granola Bar last year (pillow swap! I still need to send you a pic!) and just wanted to say you lived up to the expectation! You were so warm and kind and didn’t make me feel silly for being excited to meet you. I’ve hit a rough patch in my career right now. I’m 24 and an actor and it’s just been TOUGH lately. I’ve experienced anxiety for the first time since this year started and it’s always helpful to know that people you look up to know how you’re feeling. Stay strong, we’re all rooting for you! xo
Phoebe

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Chelsey

As someone who has been reading your blog for sometime, and who reads other blogs across a variety of subjects (fitness, home décor, etc), I would say that you are one of the more transparent people. It has always been my impression that you share a really great amount. Enough that the reader is aware that you are a real person with real feelings and problems, but not so much of your personal life that it becomes uncomfortable or seems forced. Opening about health struggles you’ve experienced along with your anxiety and fears is super relatable and helps me feel like a kindered spirit vice some blogger fan girl who just wants to copy your outfits. Also, I’m not sure if this post is specifically about your blog vice other social media (I follow you on insta and snapchat) but I think those other outlets really provide a small window into who you are beyond your “computer screen persona”.

To make a long comment short: I think you are already nailing the personal stuff, but if you felt comfortable sharing more I am sure your readers will be so appreciative!

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Shannon

Thanks for this post! I follow a few fashion/style blogs. But I only follow people who seem authentic and share some personal insight. If someone’s life seems perfect, than I just don’t have that much in common with them and I don’t keep coming back.

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Leah

As a reader of your blog and follower on Instagram, I have thought on more than one occasion “Carly looks so happy!” in the last few months. Reading this post, I realize that what I’ve noticed is more confidence, self-love, and courage. Thank you for talking about the happy parts of your journey and exploring the not-so-happy parts in an authentic way.

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Jaclyn

I’m not someone who’s great at keeping up with blogs or tv shows or even taking vitamins every day, (and I leave comments/reviews even more rarely). Somehow I visit your website every day, though- you’re doing amazing things with your career and I know you are constantly inspiring many people!

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Jordyn

I have been so disenchanted with blogging lately because I feel like I kee rereading the same posts over and over again (“5 ways to transform your mornings”) and everything feels so blah and vanilla. I feel like blogging did used to be so much more personal! However, I did like the point you made about how much easier it is to get personal when you know no one is reading-you have so many readers I can see why spilling your heart could feel overly vulnerable. Still, I really appreciate reading posts like this! Wishing you the best Carly! I’ve always enjoyed your blog but I feel like it’s been really great since the new year and with this post I can only see it improving further! (:

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Manda

Social media and blogs were best described to me as windows to a world outside of your own. Friendship is the door to a world outside of your own. Looking through the window is going to let you see a lot, but you still have a pane of glass filtering that reality. Once you walk through the door of friendship, you see it all, you hear it all and you are part of someone’s world – warts and all. Congratulations on opening the door in friendship to your readers, but maintaining that life behind the glass window for those who merely want to look in and judge. You do an excellent job of carefully treading this fine line, and you should be commended for both your ability to connect but also maintain your own world. Everyone deserves this in their online presence. Here’s hoping more people get onboard celebrating the people they like and staying away from the people they don’t – both in real life and online.

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Karen

Such a great post, your sincereity definitely came through! I think in the age of social media and “knowing” people online, we forget the responsibility we each have in acknowledging that what we’re seeing isn’t the whole picture, something you’ve talked about before! And also bearing in mind that these platforms are akin to office spaces, so a degree of professionalism should be expected. You’ve done a great job navigating this so far!

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Rebecca Barnes

I struggle with starting a blog for this very reason, so you really did say “a lot” in the first part of your post 🙂 I am always worried about what people who know me would think like you said or strangers gaining an unreal expectation of me. You mentioned both points which describe fears of mine. I also struggle with anxiety so I also appreciated you taking it further with your blog with your second point. Your honesty is refreshing and appreciated! I love what you share and have never posted before. This is just what I needed! Thanks!

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Devon Hembury

Thanks so much for sharing Carly! I struggle with anxiety as well and it’s so nice to know that other people are going through it too. I definitely play the comparison game all too often on Instagram, when I really shouldn’t– because who really knows what anyone else is going through? It’s a great reminder to take a step back and realize that it’s not all sunshine and roses all the time! xo Devon Seventeen Dresses

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Wendy

I think most people would rather read posts that are genuine and from the heart, even if it isn’t all sunshine and roses. Otherwise you’re just perpetuating the myth of everything is wonderful all the time! That said, blogging has become so disingenuous with bloggers getting free stuff all the time, which sends a wonky message about mass consumption and having the newest clothes all the time. I mean don’t get me wrong, i’d love it if J.Crew sent me free new clothes too.

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nicole

I’ve been a reader for years, but this is one of my favorite posts yet.

It’s so important to remember that social media is mostly a highlight reel.

Thanks for being so down to earth, this was a great reminder to keep things in perspective!

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Rosie

One of the many reasons why I love your blog and have kept reading and checking in is because you come off on here as being genuine. You have tapped into something that I find most bloggers struggle doing: Being honest and real with their readers. So, thank you for this post, past posts, and future posts that your readers can relate to by being so genuine and real on your blog. You really are an inspiration!

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Mariah

Girl! I totally relate! I wrote a really personal blog post recently about lessons I learned while being single. It sat in my drafts folder for weeks! I finally got the nerve to post it, and I’m so proud that I did. Getting personal on the internet is so hard. You never know how people will respond. You’re amazing and there’s a lot of us readers out there who appreciate you and your story. I know I love relating to others struggles and joyous moments in life. It can totally be worth it!

http://moosmusing.com

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Carrie this fit chick

YES. Thank you for writing this. I’m very transparent on my blog and I only read bloggers who are honest and REAL. We are all humans here, we all have flaws and troubles and it’s so refreshing to be able to share them with others.

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Rachel Lucia

Thank you for this blast of real-ness and sharing yourself with us. I so, so appreciate posts like these because anxiety is a struggle for me too, even though that isn’t necessarily evident looking at me on the surface (or on my Instagram feed!), so I really relate to this sentiment. I really needed to read this today! Thank you! XO

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Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

I have a love-hate relationship with Instagram. Sometimes I’ll find it really inspiring, and sometimes I’ll find it boring and repetitive and annoying. // Strangely enough, I get more weirded out about people I know well IRL reading my blog than I am about strangers reading it. I mean, I’m not usually weirded out about any of that stuff at all, but there might be the occasional post where I’m like, hm hopefully my close friends don’t read too deeply into this blog post or something. But yeah, meeting with online friends offline always makes me nervous. I also worry about whether who I really am measures up to what they expect of me. Of course, it always turns out that I didn’t have anything to worry about, but that doesn’t stop me from getting a little anxious beforehand! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

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Ava

You inspire me so much! What a great example of ‘be yourself’, I really needed this today. Keep up your wonderful, authentic take on the world!
xxx

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Rachel

I’ve read this blog since your Georgetown days (I was a sophomore in high school, now I’m a first year college grad at my first job!) and it’s awesome when you take a risk and share what’s nitty gritty in your life. We love you when you’re bubbly and posting cute outfits and we love you when you’re talking about a bad day. You’re great Carly! Thank you for being you!

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Jessica

I also suffer with anxiety and it can be debilitating. I’m sorry you struggle with this also. Wishing you the best and koodos for being real!

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Alex | Life Well Wandered

Thank you for writing this! I too struggle with anxiety (and sometimes depression) and as a blogger whose friends and family read my posts, it is hard to be 100% honest in what I write without worrying (yay, anxiety!) about what people think or what my family or friends of my family will think about me. It’s so much easier to put on a smiling face and pretend like those things don’t affect me.

BUT, I have found out that when I am open about my problems and write about them that I get so many messages of not only support but also thanks for writing about things that others are afraid to talk about.

Sorry for the long comment, I just really identified with this post!

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MMC

You are brave and strong and courageous. Because of that, you give so much support and inspiration to young girls who follow you. Being the nature of the business, blogging, you may not always realize it but you are an inspiration with your honesty and emotionKeep doing you as that is the person we so admire

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Emma

I’ve been reading your blog for years now and this is the first time I’ve ever commented. You have become very successful publishing the polished posts but it really is the personal posts that keep us readers coming back. A good mix of both polished and personal will keep me (and I’m sure others) reading for years to come! I love reading about your adventures and you inspire us all to find more in our lives. For example- in Jan 2014 you posted about a New Years resolution motto, “Make it happen”. Later that year I was asked in a job interview if I had a motto, I flashed back to your post where you encouraged us readers to think of our own. Nailed the interview, got the job. Thanks for you candor and your inspiration. Keep it up!

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Kelsey

Thank you for being honest! I, too, struggle with anxiety and the need to look presentable to people. I know you like to read- have you ever read Beene Brown? She’s a shame psychologist and a major proponent of vulnerability and how to do it well, especially in a public sphere. Her book, “Daring Greatly” changed my life (big thing- I know. I don’t say that lightly!) my junior year of college when I was going through a major identity crisis and her other writings have helped me learn how to be appropriately vulnerable as a high school teacher and now pastor’s wife. It hits on some of the things you’re wrestling with!!

And I love your blog- I’ve been following it for years and so enjoy your posts! 🙂

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Jessica

I already love your blog, but if it was more personal, I would love it too! I wrote a post about this as well, sort of. In general, I wish we ALL could stop putting our best foot forward on social media, because usually our plain old regular lives is what people are most interested in. Unfortunately we have created a culture that is obsessed with well lit, perfectly framed, smiley Instagram photos. I am all for ending this fad! It is exhausting trying to sugarcoat my life, myself, and my photos frankly! 😂 If we are going to do this, we need to do it together!

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Meredith

Hi Carly,
I have always admired your blog and have always thought that you were/are personal in your posts. I feel like you are talking to me right on the other side of the table, which is why I love reading your blogs everyday. Its so refreshing to know others are going through similar things in their lives and are not just the happy pictures you see. You are an inspiration and I can’t thank you enough for taking us on your journey!

– Meredith

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Alyssa

Well I think you said it pretty perfectly, as always! Thanks for being honest and genuine. I think that’s what you’ve continuously stayed true to: being positive but candid in a way that makes you so real and relatable! You’ll find your way as you always do. Just one day at a time. Trust the process, we’re here for you 🙂

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Mia

I love this article! It really hits home. Instagram is a place that people want to share all of their happy moments, but it is not always reality. I always have a quote on my Instagram bio, and this week’s is “No one’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed”. I put it there as a reminder to me and everyone else that life isn’t perfect. Thank you for this post!

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Paula

Hi Carly,
I experience anxiety as well as you. Due to this, I love to read your blog because it reminds me that I can be happy and strong and achieve things. You are really inspiring for me. Thank you to always telling us the truth.

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Jennie

I know I’m not alone when I tell you I come here every day to hear from YOU. Not to see what you’re wearing or where you just went (though your outfits and trips always look so fun), but to hear your voice. Can’t wait to hear whatever is right for you to share next.

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Cate

Hi Carly,

Just wanted to say, I’ve always appreciated your candid posts and find them incredibly refreshing. You are very smart and accomplished and always appear so polished. It’s nice to know that even you deal with very human emotions. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life and as I’ve moved into my career its contributed to a case of imposter syndrome and feeling as if I’m never enough.

Hope whatever you’re facing eases up, and I hope you know how inspiring you are to so many women.

xxCate

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Shayla

Hi Carly,

I am hoping this will be the start of a new type of post where you will continue to open up and be candid. Even if it is just being candid with us to say you will not be sharing X or Y. It really helps establish a connection with us. Always a fan of you, your personality, and your style and really happy for where you are going with this! xx

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Alyssa

Hey Love the realness! Aniexty is a Realy thing #ichewmynails to bits btw. Keep it coming!! there is a HUGE difference between complaining and getting real. Realness comes when you are aware and changing to make things better or better yet hopeful that things will get better and there is action to prove it. Complaining is all about mindset, like a little kid on his 5 th birthday party with his parents who tried to put everything into it and it even went over budget and all he can do is complain. That’s annoying. When you get real on your blog, it inspires others to not feel totally obligated to put in a smile even when things suck. Hahaha hope that helps the guilt factor. Been there. Sure enjoy following! Seriously no pressure 🙂

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Angelina

I’ve been reading your blog for about six years now! I used to check in every morning, but the last year or so I’ve drifted away. Part of it is that my life is going in a different direction, but part of it is because I felt like there is less and less content from YOU on your blog!

You have some wonderful guest posts, sale posts, fashion posts…but I’ve missed seeing content from Carly. You have a unique perspective and a “voice” when you write.

As someone who also struggles from intense anxiety and depression, it was amazing to see posts about your daily life that showed someone like me could be successful and happy despite the hurdles.

I can see how being a public figure must put a lot of pressure on you. I can see why you shy away from being personal – I couldn’t do it. You are a human with a life and you need to protect yourself and have privacy! But I’m glad to see this post. You’re very brave to address this and I hope I see more frequent posts with that awesome Carly touch.

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Eva

You are right about everything seeming the same on Instagram – it’s because it is! Beautiful things sell well, and so do perfect ideals, but it isn’t real life, and it isn’t how we get to know people or why we like them. What makes everyone special is their own flavor, their flaws, the beauty marks, the wrinkles, the quirks.

Do you think any of your anxiety comes from keeping up with the Joneses? You have a wonderful blog, but it takes a lot of energy to keep delivering more and more all the time. Plus being too aware of what other people are doing is an easy trigger too. I’ve got relatively low anxiety, however too much time on social media and Pinterest can get my heart beating fast and leave me feeling overwhelmed quickly.

Anyway, I write a lot of personal stuff on my blog She’s So Bright, and I think people respond to those weird quirks. Perfect is never interesting, and people like who you are, so you should just allow yourself to relax more, edit less and let your voice come out. It’s never easy, but if you fear it, it’s probably worth doing! Best of luck – Eva <3

http://www.shessobright.com

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Sherrelle

Hello Carly. As you mature, it is only nature that you want your blog to mature with you. I’m older than I’m sure your normal demographic and appreciate your posts. However, I think you are ready to share a little more about you and not just the “professional/blog” side. You have strong following and we all have a persona that we share with the world. You let your guard down with friends and family. I say share from your heart and you will discover that fear has only held you back from all of the love we are ready to share with you. Take a leap of faith and be vulnerable. You can do this and we are all here to support you. Grateful

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Zed

I find it really important to always appear smiley and ‘happy’ or at least to put my best foot forward. Yesterday at work, I was in a lot of pain, which I don’t think many people would have noticed, because I felt (particularly as a doctor) that I needed to pretend. It got to a point where I snapped at someone over the phone. I took a break, took some painkillers and I was able to get back to work. But it was hard.

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Brittany

Hi Carly, I’m so glad you shared this post and that you’re willing to share personal experiences in this space. Of course, you need to be comfortable with whatever you share publicly, but know that those real and raw posts are the ones that resonate with people – at least they do for me! I love the more aesthetic posts, like style and such too, but when bloggers share personal bits it’s much more relatable. It’s actually why I started blogging recently, not only as a way to organize my thoughts, but as a way to connect with like-minded women. I look forward to hearing more about your experiences, in whatever way you are comfortable sharing!

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Sarah M

Appreciate the reminder that someone’s smiling face on Instagram doesn’t mean they are completely stress-free. Thanks for taking the first step in getting more personal!

xoxo

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Andrea

Carly, I can’t wait to see the non-polished you. Don’t worry, we are all humans and have a bad day, and I think sharing yours will enrich your blog. It is actually way more inspiring to see people go through battles sometimes than always all reainbowy and unicorny.

Sending lots of love and strength!

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Laurali Star

I used to have a really, really personal blog back in the day. Then, I started blogging about lighter things, because I want to be upbeat and positive, and spread good-vibes, you know. Recently, I’ve came to the conclusion that getting deep-down personal and vulnerable is me and the happy, upbeat part is also me. I’m both. I guess it’s about finding your balance at the end of the day. I’m really happy I found your blog, by the way 🙂

~Laurali Star

http://www.lauralistarxo.com

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Anna Roberts

Love this. I’ve found it increasingly hard the past couple months staying upbeat & constantly positive while going through a rough patch in my relationship, when in reality I’ve fallen into some not-all-to-positive habits (skipping work because you just don’t want to deal). It’s the first time I’ve ever truly experienced this type of anxiety as most things I’m able to throw over my shoulder & continue on with my day. I’m slowly dealing but it’s definitely not easy & you’re doing a fantastic job being real & constructive!!

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Erin

I so appreciate when I see something real on instagram – a messy room, a not perfectly styled picture, etc. I’m more drawn to blogs and accounts that share a glimpse into REAL life as opposed to a perfectly styled situation.

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Taylor

I love this post! So inspiring! I admire you sharing your thoughts, feelings, and anxiety to everyone, that is very real of you!!

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Lindsey

I love this, and it’s exactly the reason I started my most recent blog at fonderlove.com. I love super real posts on blogs and on Instagram. Even if it’s a pretty picture and a tough caption, being relatable and making those connections is what makes the internet cool. I’m all about spreading positivity, but also sharing the tough moments (like when my husband lost his job) because there are so many people who can relate on tons of different levels. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t worry about what people are thinking about what you share if it’s meaningful and true. I promise there are people out there who appreciate it more than you know.

Looking forward to all the unpolished updates to come! 😉

xx Lindsey

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