Comments on College Prep: Epilogue

Great advice! I actually felt a lot like this a fe...

2012-02-02T21:14:44.929-05:00

Great advice! I actually felt a lot like this a few years ago; sometimes you just don't "click" with the people around you and all you can do is branch out! My sister is pressuring me to rush when I get to college, and I want to row crew, but I'm still really scared I'll have a hard time meeting people.

I feel you! I'm actually rushing a sorority ri...

2012-02-02T17:22:54.464-05:00

I feel you! I'm actually rushing a sorority right now because I want that close group of girlfriends (for the record, also, I'm out on the Eastern Shore. There aren't any other colleges around me!) I had a few close friends as a freshman and they went abroad last semester! I do so many things in a day, I want a group of friends when I come back or people to sit and talk to! I'm glad though you've found friends that you love and think of as close now--just because you're in college doesn't mean it's your world!

I completely agree! I did not rush a sorority and ...

2012-02-02T11:17:09.549-05:00

I completely agree! I did not rush a sorority and it took me a while to fully adjust to college life. I certainly have a lot of friends, but I don't have a core group of friends like I had in high school. It is difficult sometimes because so many of my "best" friends don't know each other so when I want to plan somethings it's sometimes hard to know who to invite or what to do since we don't all hang out together all the time.

-KD

http://royalsoutherncharm.blogspot.com/

I feel this way in NYC now! I went to art school ...

2012-02-02T10:57:05.587-05:00

I feel this way in NYC now!
I went to art school in Baltimore and made a few close friends that I hang onto, but after I graduated in May 2010, everyone scattered around the country and I didn't have those girlfriends living close to call for random Saturday brunch or craft night anymore! I recently moved to Brooklyn with my boyfriend, and I've been struggling to make friends with other girls here. It's hard to make connections with people when you don't have school or other activities in common that bring you together often.
If you ever move to NYC Carly, send me an email or a tweet! We can be girlfriends!
-Katie

Thank you for posting this! Over the past two days...

2012-02-02T10:20:18.038-05:00

Thank you for posting this! Over the past two days I've thought a lot about the relationships that I have formed and want to find a group to do those fun things with too. I've always been really independent and mature for my age and finding like-minded individuals has been nearly impossible, especially in college. I've also always been known as the one who gives the best advice, and who listens and cheers people up but it's hard finding people who do the same for me. In the first three months of freshman year I joined multiple clubs, community service projects, I even have my car on campus so I get groups together all the time to go to dinner... and even with all those outlets I haven't solidified a group. I've been discouraged lately because of this, but I know that the key is to keep persevering!!! It also helps to know that you have experienced the same hardships, so I thank you for posting this. xox

http://agirlintheknow.blogspot.com/

I know exactly how you feel, and even though I too...

2012-02-02T09:48:40.959-05:00

I know exactly how you feel, and even though I too have told myself you don't have to be best friends with everyone, I've found it's actually very hard to accept the fact. In high school I was a floater, my friend group changed every year. In college I joined a sorority and have found great friends through it, but none are my best friends. I've found my best friends are the two girls I grew up figure skating with. I can go back home and hang out with them like we saw each other yesterday. So as much as I want best friends I can go shopping with, talk with, have dinner with, etc., I know I have two solid best friends already, and those I meet now are simply adding to the list. I believe that if you are happy with who you are and confident in your ways, friends will come to you. Sometimes I seriously think we are the same person, Carly!

I actually had an opposite issue; I felt like a fl...

2012-02-02T09:27:26.660-05:00

I actually had an opposite issue; I felt like a floater in high school, then found great friends in college with whom I'm close even now that we've graduated. Trying to make friends outside of college is harder than I ever thought, though. You don't have any natural activities outside of work, so you really have to make the effort to get involved and meet new people. I'm about two years out of college now (gosh, it's so crazy to say that!) and I'm just now getting the hang of it.

Yes! This is EXACTLY what I am going through! I go...

2012-02-02T07:55:45.472-05:00

Yes! This is EXACTLY what I am going through! I go to a private boarding school (all girls) and at times, it can be sooo hard just to find my match. I feel like I have "friends" but like you said, they are just friends I will talk to if I run into them or sometimes hang out with on weekends...Especially coming from a school where I was "popular" and had a group of friends whom I adored and they adored me! We had been together since kindergarton! Now since high school, things have changed. All of my friends went to a different high school and sometimes I have regrets about my HS choice....any more thoughts?

Yes! I love my roommates and we're all great f...

2012-02-02T07:22:18.184-05:00

Yes! I love my roommates and we're all great friends, but I needed my own set of friends. I love having another group of people I can hang out with and do different stuff than what my roommates and I do.

I made the best friends of my life in college. Fro...

2012-02-02T06:12:24.121-05:00

I made the best friends of my life in college. From the girls I lived on the hall with in the dorms to my sorority sisters, I'm so glad for the bonding foundation that 'growing up together' gave us. That being said there are plenty of opportunities to make friends post college, I made some fantastic ones in grad school, junior league and at work.

You know I didn't feel this way in college but...

2012-02-02T02:16:26.111-05:00

You know I didn't feel this way in college but I feel EXACTLY this way now in my 30's. OMG it is sooo hard to make friends (for me anyway) outside of college. I've really made a big effort in the last 2 years to reach out girls I might not initially reach out to for a variety of reasons (younger or older than me, at a different phase in life, etc). And you know what? I have several new, awesome friends! But I totally feel your pain. It is hard to make girlfriends. I frequently say it's worse than dating. And I am sad to say it only gets more difficult as you get older. The good news is that I have found after college you often become great friends with kids you knew growing up. You know, like a school friend who you were never close to but now you both live in the same city and poof...it turns out you have a lot in common and are great friends.

I could have written almost the exact same thing a...

2012-02-02T01:48:33.003-05:00

I could have written almost the exact same thing about my college friendships. I was very close to my high school friends (all girls school and all that) and expected my college friendships to be the same. After lots of drama with my close college friends I realized I didn't have to have best friends at school. I could have class friends and study friends and all different groups. Once I stopped focusing on the same few friends (that I had grown apart from after sophomore year) I was a lot happier!

I just wish I had reached out to you when you first started blogging. I was finishing up my time in DC but didn't even think to meet blog friends in person. Glad you have found some fun new girlfriends! Blog turned real life friends are the best I think :)

Funny that you wrote about this because I've b...

2012-02-02T01:46:12.780-05:00

Funny that you wrote about this because I've been thinking about this topic lately. I graduated from Syracuse University in May 2011 and despite being in a sorority, I didn't really feel like I was leaving with a close group of friends. I'm an only child so I've always been independent and have never had a problem doing things alone, but I was a bit discouraged to be moving home with the feeling that I wasn't going to best friends with my sisters or friends outside of my house.

It really wasn't until recently that I came to the same realization that you have - I don't have to be best friends with everyone nor do my friends have to be from my sorority or from SU. It really was a relief when this thought hit me and actually helped with my confidence (especially when it comes to my blog!) and self-esteem.

I'm glad you figured this out before graduation though because I certainly wish that I had! haha Thank you so much for writing this and getting this out there because I think a lot of people think and feel this way and don't realize how many others think the same!

I was upset this year about the same thing (not ev...

2012-02-02T01:20:20.354-05:00

I was upset this year about the same thing (not even having someone to live offcampus with). Then I realized that casual friends can be just as fun. My group (or groups?) of friends is so much more diverse now that I'm in college. I have friends from home, friends in my major, friends in classes and clubs, and friends from church. There's always someone to go to no matter what situation I'm in. It's nice. Thank you for writing this, I always thought I was the only one who felt this way haha. :)

I commute to school, so I always felt like I wasn&...

2012-02-02T01:03:44.971-05:00

I commute to school, so I always felt like I wasn't "in" with the rest of the students who lived on campus. Which, in many ways, I wasn't. I never really developed those relationships like the ones I have with my two best friends from high school. However, like you, recently I discovered that I don't need "best friends" from college - sure, I made friends, and some good ones at that, but there are also friends I have made who don't even go to school with, that I met through various other connections (friends of other friends, etc.). I think it's how you frame it - if you over think only finding friends in a place you think you're "supposed" to find friends at (i.e., school), you close yourself off from other fantastic relationships that bloom in other places. :)

Btw, great job cutting your friend's hair! :) I tried cutting my cousin's hair once... it came out crooked. :-\ Crossed cosmetology school off my list there & then!

xo,
Kristen
krisgris.blogspot.com

I joined a sorority at my college and that's h...

2012-02-02T00:27:59.225-05:00

I joined a sorority at my college and that's how I met some of my good girlfriends. But I also am really good friends with a lot of people who aren't in my sorority or at my school and I wouldn't have it any other way.